Dee In A Nutshell

Feed Me, Love Me, Never Leave Me.


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BHH Review

After putting up the kalango (DeT: announcement) for BHH on the actual day of the event (see how these days it’s an event for me) I turn up at 7.00pm and I am the only one for a full half hour. B2B had kindly put up the kalango and I was starting to wonder if anyone read his blog. I was sure they did what with all the comments on that particular post but no one, not even he had showed up by the time Carlo arrived at about 7.45pm. The next guy to show up was Benge Solomon of Node Six and I was so excited to meet him because his aggregator, Blog Spirit, has become my be all and end all for Ugandan blogs. So he and Carlo exchanged cards and I simply received one of his cards. Solomon, I am waiting for my tracker. B2B then finally showed up with Channel in tow and she had a camera so there should be some pics up on her blog soon, I hope. Ivan was the next to show up looking all cleaned up with a new haircut bambi. Ivan, good luck with the interview. Eddslah showed up next with his trusty companion whose name I can never remember (I’m sorry) then Heaven came along looking all refreshed from all her time off and guess who came with? Her lover also called Peter oddly enough and finally BB, Channel’s roomie who made an appearance last time also showed up this time. I’m not too sure about the order people came in though and I don’t think it really matters. It was nice per the usual. (Why, you may ask yourself, is this one long paragraph? I don’t know either)

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Blog Action Day and going on holiday

I can’t even remember the last time I had 2 posts up on the same day. I don’t think it has ever happened. I guess we do something new everyday.

I am off to Ssesse tomorrow. (I have no idea how that is spelt, by the way. Is it Ssesse, Sesse, Ssese or Sese islands?) I do know that I won’t be able to blog the whole weekend so I’ll be seeing you again late on Sunday or Monday.

This post is basically to say I am going to be taking part in Blog Action Day ’08 Poverty on October 15. Go on over to the site and register your blog. Your post could make a huge difference.


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Randomsies

I don’t believe I have ever done a randomsies post but being up at 8.30am with nothing to fill your days with kinda begs one of those posts.

First random thought
The chic in the David Guetta videos has got herself one sweet gig. David Guetta is a DJ and you know how they actually have videos for their songs these days and in all his videos, the main character is this chic, who I must say is very pretty. I just found out her name is Kelly Thiebaud. *hums* “what are we supposed to do, no use to deny this simple truth, now that the love is gone”

Second random thought
Chic in David Guetta’s videos should be a gig on ‘Do you want to become a celebrity’ this game I am addicted to on facebook.

Third rt
I hate Madonna. Chic is 50 and fitter than I have ever been. Her time. What’s even more annoying is I will sing along to every one of her songs anyway, the witch.

4th rt
There are some odd games in the Olympics. For starters, Water Polo which is basically hand ball in the water.

5th rt
There is an Olympian, one of the women gymnasts. Her name is Anastasia “Nastia” Liukin whose mother was a floor gymnast who competed in the Olympics and father was an athlete who competed in the Olympics and won Gold. Talk about destiny or maybe about creating Hybrids to win the gold.

6th rt
I like the way the icons for different sports at the Olympics look like Chinese symbols.

I am all out of thoughts… for now.


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Leave! Yay!

Hello y’all.

Now that I am on leave you should expect to see a lot more of me here. So, I’ve only been on leave for three days and counting but it is not as fun as I expected it would be. Being at home has prompted my mother to make me the maid and my mornings have been starting with me cleaning the house, making breakfast, having some breakfast and then making lunch. The whole time I have been sneaking in glimpses of the Olympics which I am enjoying immensely. It is truly something else to see what one can do with enough training and passion. These athletes are giving their all and it is very entertaining to watch and I personally am going to practise my synchronised swimming so I can rep. Ug in 2010 Britain. I’m going away on Friday so I’m psyched about that and also when I come back on Sunday I am going to our very own Skate Park to watch the competition. Come on down if you have a minute, all I know is that it is in Kitintale. I plan to ask for directions when I get there.

In other news, how have you all been?


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Wanted: The Abridged Script

Hey y’all.

I am in love with the website The Editing Room and it’s editor Rod Hilton. The script below is for you.

By: Rod Hilton on Aug 5th, 2008 Movie Rating: 2.5 stars out of 5 stars

FADE IN:

INT. OFFICE

JAMES MCAVOY adds numbers using EXCEL and whines incessantly in voiceover.

JAMES MCAVOY (V.O.)
Hi. My name is James McAvoy. I’m a boring loser who has a full-time job, which apparently is beneath me even though everyone else has to do it without being a whiny little bitch.

(pause)

Oh look, here comes my obnoxious, cuckolding best friend. He epitomizes the exact type of macho idiot that enjoys movies like this one, so the fact that he’s portrayed as an asshole is something of an embarrassing irony.

CHRIS PRATT
Hey man! I just drank Red Bull out of your girlfriend’s vagina, it was awesome! So what’s going on with you?

JAMES MCAVOY
Nothing much. I was just searching for my own name in Google and getting no results.

CHRIS PRATT
No results at all? Like not even for any of the other thousands of people with the same name as you? “Johnny McSkidmarks” gives me three hits, and I just made that up.

JAMES MCAVOY
Yeah, I’m like a black hole of failure. I sure hope that it turns out I’m actually the heir to an ancient society that needs me so that I can leave this well-paying, white-collar, air-conditioned office job that most people would kill to have.

For the rest of the movie, FIGHT CLUB happens, but with BULLETS.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE

JAMES purchases some anti-anxiety medication when suddenly he is approached by ANGELINA JOLIE’S LIPS.

ANGELINA JOLIE’S LIPS
James, it just so happens that your father was a member of a secret organization, which we will now make you a part of, just as soon as we have a poorly directed gunfight with Thomas Kretschmann, the guy who killed your dad.

JAMES MCAVOY
I want nothing to do with any of this.

(pause)

I’m ready now, when do I start killing people?

They shoot GUNS and discharge STYLE. Various amounts of BRAIN are splattered all over the camera lens.

JAMES MCAVOY
Holy shit, this movie is gratuitously violent. Did someone just take the screenplay to a porno and replace the words “cock” with “gun” and “semen” with “blood”?

ANGELINA JOLIE’S LIPS
Don’t be an idiot. There’s no way this movie had as much of a screenplay as your average porn.

They narrowly escape THOMAS KRETSCHMANN. ANGELIA JOLIE’S LIPS try to take JAMES to the SECRET SOCIETY HIDEOUT, but all of the studio’s sets are being used by better movies so they settle on an old TEXTILE MILL SET instead.

INT. TEXTILE MILL

JAMES meets MORGAN FREEMAN.

MORGAN FREEMAN
Let’s make this quick, I’ve got 20 minutes before I have to get back to the Dark Knight set.

JAMES MCAVOY
So, you’re a secret society of supervillians based on famous DC Comics rogues and you need me to help you in your nefarious plot to keep the world in a state of chaos and war?

MORGAN FREEMAN
What? No, you’re thinking of the comic book. We just kept the title and two character names from that best-selling piece of shit. We’re assassins that take lives in order to save thousands more.

JAMES MCAVOY
How do you decide who kill?

MORGAN FREEMAN
We have a Loom of Fate. It’s an actual Loom. And it encodes the names of our targets in binary when it stitches fabric. Seriously. This is actually in the movie.

JAMES MCAVOY
What the hell do you do when two people have the same name? And is every target in NY, or is that just luck?

MORGAN FREEMAN
Look, I gotta run. The deal is, you have the ability to accelerate your heart rate so that you can rape the laws of physics, curve bullets, jump 400 feet out of windows, flip cars, and even shoot the wings off of flies.

JAMES MCAVOY
Shoot the wings off of flies? Are action movies just running out of ways to outdo each other? Where else is there to go after shooting the wings off of flies? What’s the next preposterous action movie going to have, people shooting bullets into each other’s bullets?

MORGAN FREEMAN
Hey, good idea! You can do that with the heart rate thing too.

JAMES MCAVOY
Christ, at least Neo’s excuse was that he was inside the Matrix.

ANGELINA JOLIE’S LIPS
We’re now going to train you to be an assassin by treating you like shit and beating the living snot out of you for no clear reason.

She DOES. Once the SECRET SOCIETY finishes beating JAMES within an inch of his life, he realizes they are his TRUE FRIENDS. They go ASSASSINATE random PEOPLE using SPECIAL EFFECTS.

JAMES MCAVOY
Cool! My increased heart rate has let me travel back in time to 1999 when stylized slow motion gunfights could pass for entertainment!

ANGELINA JOLIE’S LIPS
The Loom of Fate says it’s time for you to kill Thomas Kretschmann.

JAMES MCAVOY
Alright! Did I get any advice on ideal murder weapons from the Scarf of Doom?

ANGELINA and JAMES travel to find THOMAS on a TRAIN. They BATTLE and eventually JAMES shoots THOMAS.

THOMAS KRETSCHMANN
Everything they told you was a lie. I’m your father.

JAMES MCAVOY
Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that like a billion scenes ago?

THOMAS KRETSCHMANN
Because I only got paid for two speaking lines. Urk!

(dies)

JAMES travels back to the TEXTILE MILL to confront MORGAN FREEMAN.

JAMES MCAVOY
Thomas Darth Vadered me. Is he really my father?

MORGAN FREEMAN
Sure, I can make you a suit that lets you turn your head. Wait, what movie is this? Shit, I’m still in this thing? Somebody shoot this motherfucker!

JAMES MCAVOY
How sad is it that the most entertaining part of this movie is hearing wise old grandpa Morgan Freeman say the word ‘fuck’?

ANGELINA JOLIE’S LIPS
Hey, don’t forget about me showing my naked ass gratuitously.

They have a SHOOTOUT but MORGAN doesn’t die, so they have another SHOOTOUT where he DOES.

JAMES MCAVOY (V.O.)
…and that’s the story of how I brutally slaughtered a shitload of people, which prevented me from being a pussy like you. What the fuck have you done lately?

AUDIENCE
Um, you mean besides wasting 8 bucks watching Fight Club and The Matrix have a miscarriage together? Nothing, I guess.

END