Dee In A Nutshell

Feed Me, Love Me, Never Leave Me.


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African Reading Challenge

I said I would enter the reading challenge and I have but I don’t have a list of books. I have decided to read the books then add them to the list.

I just finished A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah and like he said it is worth the read. It is told in a very matter of fact way, no embellishments, no style but it gets the message across. I don’t know if I would have been able to read it if it hadn’t been written like it is. It is a harrowing story, a 12 year old boy slitting someone’s throat with a bayonet is hard enough to comprehend without it being written in language that evokes the images vividly, so I am kind of glad it is not very well written. It is a very sad reality where these boys are taken from their families and recruited into the army (the army, not the rebel forces, the bloody army.) I am inspired to find out more.

Read this but I emaphasize, the writing is lacklustre at best.

I am going to take a break now and read the only Tony Parson’s book I haven’t yet read, The Family Way.


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Snooze: A work story

You all know I work in a call centre for a telecommunications company that will remain unnamed, right? You also probably know that we hear some of the funniest things.

Some guy called in and talked to someone else but this story was the funniest thing I had ever heard. I will write it out in Luganda and translate it after.

(phone rings)
Agent: Good morning, (agent) speaking, how can I help you?

Sub: Gyebale ko nyabo. Nafunye mu obuzibu zibu mu ssimu yange. Osobola kunyamba ko?

Agent: Buzibu ki Ssebo?

Sub: Waliwo ennamba enkubila bulikanaku ku sawa zezimu naye essimu bwenjikwata, omuntu tayogela. Ono’musajja asumbwa nyo. Anzukusa ku sawa kuminabili ate natayogela kintu kyona. Nina kyensobola okukola o’kyilekelawo?

Agent: Ssebo, eyo nambe ki?

Sub: Enamba sijilaba, naye elinya ndilaba.

Agent: Bwoba olaba elinya, kitageza nti enamba mweli mu ssimu yo.

Sub: Neda, enambe telimu, najinonyeza nga sijilaba

Agent: Kale, mbulila elinya

Sub: Bamuyita SNOOZE!

Translation.

(phone rings)
Agent: Good morning, (agent) speaking, how may I help you?

Sub: Good morning. I am having a problem with my phone, can you help me?

Agent: What is the problem, sir?

Sub: There is a number that keeps calling me but when I pick the phone up no one speaks. It calls me everyday at the same time and it is getting very annoying. It calls at 6.00am and wakes me up and this person does not answer me, is there anyway I can stop this?

Agent: What is the number?

Sub: I don’t know the number but I know the name. It shows on my phone.

Agent: If you see the name, that must mean the number is in your phone.

Sub: The number is not in my phone, I checked and it is not there.

Agent: Ok, tell me the name you see.

Sub: That person is called SNOOZE!


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Love

Love

Love will come find you

Just to remind you

Of who you are

Hold on

It will forsake you

Threaten to break you

Take what you got

Everybody laughs

Everybody cries

Sure it could hurt you baby

But give it a lil try

See that’s the thing about love

Friends

Sometimes will blind you

Sneak up behind you

You cant give enough

Then life

It will embrace you

Totally amaze you

So you don’t give up

Everybody laughs

Everybody cries

Sure it could hurt you baby

But give it a lil try

See that’s the thing about love

Don’t tell me that I’m not the only that’s going thru it all

Ohhh sometimes I feel like I’m the only that’s going thru it all

But its time

Oh its time

For me to shine

HeyIts my time

Oh its time

For me to shine

Its my time

Said its my time

For me to shine

Its my time

Its bout time

For me to shine

Everybody laughs

Everybody cries

Sure it could hurt u baby

But give it a lil try

That’s the thing about love

That’s the thing about love

That’s the thing about

That’s the thing about love

**Lyrics The Thing About Love – Alicia Keys


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Billy Blues

I had been to Billy Blues before it was cool and the only cool thing about it then was the pictures they had up of Blues legends like Elvis (does he count?) and other greats whose names I can’t remember right now. Other than that, it (excuse the terrible pun) gave me the blues so I decided not to go back until recently it was all I could hear about from my more outgoing family and friends (read my younger sisters, all my friends these days are old.)

Eventually, on Friday, I ended up there after a fun filled night. (I only got two pics so deal with it.) First I went to Carlo’s and then we went to Arirang (where the pictures were taken) with Brenda (Chan, jealous much?) and Bren’s family and friends.

We then went to the Pyramids casino and I am now seriously berating myself for not taking any pictures because y’all need to see this casino. It is tiny and the minute you walk in, you feel like you have entered one of those Mob-movies and you start looking for the Italians. You know those basement-shit-load-of-money-buy-in for only certain people, that’s what it feels like except it’s well lit.

We then headed to Mayfair Casino which looks nice (again, what was I thinking and where was my camera except for on my phone?) It looks and feels like a train terminal complete with ticket booths and the announcer on the speaker thingies (in this case announcing Bingo numbers.) What I didn’t like was that on the slot machines, there was no noise from the coins clanging onto the tray because you don’t get coins. You sit on the machine and the man with the key comes and puts for you the amount of money you want to spend and when you’re done he comes back and pays you in cash, no clanky coins in this train terminal.

We decide to leave and go to Billy Blues after I was up 10,000 and Carlo was up 20,000. We walk down to get a cab and I see this (I remembered I had a camera for this.) I was so amused but it makes sense, no? I guess this guy doesn’t want to have to carry this stool home everyday but would also not like to see it stolen. It’s things like these that make me love walking around at night. So, we get to Billy Blues and its like I am seeing my long lost relatives. You know those friends you make at the bar and you only ever see at the bar? I had so many of those friends, let’s face it, I used to go out quite a bit. Anyway, Friday was a chance to catch up. I saw so many people I hadn’t seen in forever and we talked about everything from the race for the US Democrat candidate to the credit crash in the UK to what all this has to do with China. It was a really fun night but I am not planning to do it agan anytime soon. I was tired, the music was loud, along with the people I was glad to see, there were like 3 fold those I didn’t and I can’t think of the other thing but it was there.

All in all, fun night, not doing it again soon.


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Two Words : Hot Steps

Have you seen that show? It is the most hilarious thing ever to come out of Uganda. For those of you not in the know, Hot Steps is a TV show much in the vein of Pop Idol and Star Search except they are looking for dancers. If that premise isn’t funny enough for you, imagine please, the way people suck at singing in the first episodes of such shows, imagine how much funnier dancing would be. It doesn’t disappoint, it is hilarious. People are either delusional or blind, nothing else explains their willingness to completely embarrass themselves on national TV.
The judges are Ronnie of Obsessions and Michael, formerly of Obsessions, now of Kombat. Michael seems to be trying really hard to be mean but the looks on Ronnie’s face. I suggest that at the end of each show, there be a montage of the looks on Ronnie’s face because they are priceless.
Back to the dancers. On Thursday’s show, there was a contestant called Pophia and there is no way I can tell it to make as funny as it was. She is rod-thin with absolutely no ass to speak of but she kept turning her back to the judges and tapping the top of her thighs (read ass) and the judges were cracking up because she had this come hither look on her face that frankly was very scary. This was in Entebbe.
The show in Jinja has this 4o-something old man decided to show case his lingala skills and what ensued looked like a middle aged chicken on speed.
I am out of time so my parting words are, try to catch this on NTV on Thursday sometime after 8.00pm.


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Weekday Blogging, Haarnk, Haarnk

I have noticed that very few of you blog on weekends. Go ahead, report yourselves, it’s because you be abusing your office internet, right? Honestly, who am I to speak? I only blog on Sunday because I work on Sunday.

So, I was at Nandos at around 11.30pm last night and I ran into an old teacher of mine. After saying hello and all, he says to me, “What are you doing out at this time? Where is your gate pass?” Talk about a Haarnk Haarnk moment.

I thought I would put up a picture of me with the weight I have gained. This was taken at the end of our Customer Appreciation Week. We had to go to work dressed in traditional attire and I picked a Sari. I like it, so what do you think. Does it make me look fat?
As is evident, I have nothing to say. Nothing at all. I’ll take my leave now.
Bye my friends.