Dee In A Nutshell

Feed Me, Love Me, Never Leave Me.



Of (oh so ) Dry Men.

So last night I go out after forever and I remember why I stopped. There was a kasiki for one of my workmates at Pa Lui and I had to walk out every now and then to breathe. Anyway, the interesting bit happened when I was on my way home.

A bunch of us left the club and this guy asks where I live and it turns out we are neighbours so I take the ride he offers. We get to the exit and he meets two of his friends whom he decides to first drop in Wandegeya. This is cool up to the point we stop in Wandegeya and these guys in a white car park right next to us and the driver jumps out brandishing a gun, I think it was an AK47. Instead of the expected flash of life, I imagined being found shot to pieces in this guy’s car whom I don’t even particularly like and getting my pretty white vest all soiled with blood. Turns out, these guys followed us from Ntinda and tried to stop us (they didn’t try hard, none of us noticed them) because this guy didn’t have a number plate. He had a receipt for one though and it was all sorted. We eventually get on our way home and he parks outside my gate and tries to kiss me. I tell him I have a boyfriend and he asks me what that has got to do with anything. Now, this boy is starting to infuriate me and I want to make it clear to him that I don’t cheat on my boyfriend, not because of how he would feel about it, although I am not saying this doesn’t matter, but because I need to be able to live with myself. Oba, where has he been living? He assures me how in Uganda, women don’t know what they want and therefore I can’t know I don’t want him until he convinces me that I do. WTF?! (This dude does not know my pedigree) I summarily tell him that even if I didn’t have a boyfriend he still wouldn’t even be close to the type of guy I would be with. I have never been so disgusted in my life, I got out of that car and into my house. I have been thinking, is this how all you guys feel? Do you think women don’t have brains or that we don’t enjoy sex and can therefore not be picky? Please tell me.

Padded Panties

My mom told me last night that there is a shop that sells padded underwear for women. I found that unbelievable and I can’t wait to see them, apparently they are called bum panties. Aparrently they are all the rage and she keeps getting phone calls to give directions to where the shop is. If you feel you could use one, please let me know in the comments and I will direct you.

A Fine Balance

I just finished reading this book and right now all I can say is it is the saddest book I have ever read and what’s worse it could all actually have happened.

See y’all on the flip side.


9 thoughts on “Smorgasbord

  1. But seriously, do you need those padded things? SERIOUSLY?!

  2. i gotta aman-wats yo man gotta do with me? i gotta aman…am not trying to hear that shit, i gotta aman…..
    that dude got game…

    dee,u swore!!

  3. You know you have hit The Age when you have no idea where places like Pa Lui are.

    I can’t believe you have never heard of paddied undies! They are all the rage. I have several pairs of humoungous tough lycra grannie panties that suck in the stomach but give shape to the hips and butt. Okay, this is an overshare, but hurray for Really Useful Underwear.

    A Fine Balance – You and I have to have coffee …

  4. I have no idea how I forgot to put this in there. A surefire sign that this dude was the winner, he said, and I quote, “…if you don’t want to kiss with me…” Need I say more?

  5. the ‘kiss with me’ bit was the winner! for CHOGM like my brother says. and then on the other side of things, what the hell do we full figured ugandan women need padded panties for? maybe the ones that pull in the butt cuz we’re already well endowed as it is.

  6. Eh, that guy sounds dangerous. He could be anything. Just be careful next time.

  7. you were thinking about the white vest huh?
    famous last words: oh shit. now I’ve got to bleach this.

    but seriously, Im glad you are safe:)

  8. Ok, Darlyn. One thing is for sure mena re so unpredicteably dangerous! You can never really kow if he’s a rapist or a serial killer. Before you know it there is a stalker that just wont take no for an answer, then you have issues to deal with. Point is, dont get into a car with someone you dont really know. Maybe am a pessimist, I know its saved one too may girls to think negatively.

    Padded panties! Get a life ladies! Just eat lots of pork and soon those guys will be outta business!

  9. Lol @Tumwi for really usefull underwear…wat are u tryna say about my thongs?

    So Dee, wat is the real reason u didn’t want o “kiss with him”??? Was it his halitosis?

    But gwe, the gun thing scared me. And all u thought about was blood spots on yo vest…

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