Dee In A Nutshell

Feed Me, Love Me, Never Leave Me.

Can’t think of one.

18 Comments

So I know I have been a bit absent, you know, AWOL and all and unlike last time this is not because I was in Ssese or anywhere as exotic but because I have never been much of a writer and these past few days I have failed to summon the courage to actually sit at my pc and type out a post. This post is actually being typed on another pc as a word document and this is only working because I am so into novelty that I will do the dullest thing. So here I am again, here we go.
On Thursday, my Mom took me to the Kampala Casino. I had never been so I was a bit disappointed by how small it was. She picked me up from work and I was wearing a long white gypsy skirt and decent black top. She was an aunt of mine who is hilarious; we shall call her Aunt M. It was too early to go straight to the Casino so we went to the container next to the Bukoto Shell where we partook of some goat’s meat, spilled some guys drink and tried on shoes. If you will let me digress a little, it is very disturbing to hear your parents talk about sex. My Mom told a story about another Aunt of mine, let’s call her Aunt E. Aunt E was engaging in carnal knowledge with an unknown gentleman and she had just applied acrylic, better known as artificial, nails. In the course of their learning, one of her nails scratched him and fell off. What really amused my mother was it wasn’t even a very accessible finger that the nail fell off of but the ring finger, her question was what position could she have possibly found herself in that ended up in one of her nails, just one lone nail falling off. I had to pretend I had no idea what they were talking about so I didn’t have to imagine my Aunt E having any knowledge of a male human being carnal or not. Anyway, after this disturbing story, they started digging into me telling me I can’t wear my skirt to the Casino. Aunt M said I looked saved and the management would probably turn me away. Meanwhile, my Mom was wearing a pair of black pants and kept saying I can’t go dressed in a skirt, a long flowing skirt at that while she is wearing those pants. I was forced to go home and change into a pair of black jeans to appease them. I then told my Aunt M about Alfie and though she was happy for me she was also devastated because they had lined up someone for me, one of their friend’s sons. I found this unbelievable and asked them if they thought I lived in some kind of sheltered world where I will not encounter men on my own. My Aunt said it was a valid point but that that would not stop the boy’s mother from being devastated. We eventually got to the casino and I tell you men are shameless. There was a live band playing Jazz and the lead singer, who was filling in for K’Angie was hitting on me in front of my mother even when I introduced her as my mother. He felt nothing and just continued like she was pimping me out and didn’t give a pig’s fart one way or the other. Fuckwit. The night was good and I had undoubtedly the best fish fingers ever. If there is one reason you should make your way down to the casino if your luck is as rotten as mine is to have those fish fingers.
Last weekend was the Jewish New Year so we worked half day on Friday and not at all on Saturday. Now usually I give myself long weekends off but this weekend when I was actually legitimately off I did…NOTHING, absofuckinglutely nothing. I slept all day and watched TV all night, I enjoyed it so much I am seriously considering quitting my job so I can chill like that. Don’t say it, I know, chilling like that is best appreciated if you have actually been busy doing something so I might not quit my job just yet, but I am thinking about it.
My cousin for whom I was temping came back and my boss isn’t around right now. He comes back tomorrow and we discuss the terms of my staying on, coz they did ask me to stay on but it will all depend on how much they offer me. I am getting ready to go back to school and I don’t want a dead end job tying me up if it is only taking away from me.
I don’t know how long this post is going to appear on the blog but I am into my second page on Word. I am on a roll with these long posts almost like Inktus, almost.
I think I have said all I am going to say. Ciao.

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18 thoughts on “Can’t think of one.

  1. From your post, I get the impression your mom has got it going on. Kinda like the one from the video of “stacy’s mom” by Fountains of Wayne.

  2. Your aunt’s comment about the Casino folks not letting you in b’cuz you looked saved in your white skirt had me laughing my head off. As for the dude hitting on you in front of your mom..clearly he had no shame in his game.

  3. Poof…poof…poof…

    Now if I didn’t know any better I’d think your mom was probably Indian! Interesting anecdote. So what happened in the end?

  4. 1. never been inside K’la Casino, but i heard K’Angie sing at a wedding and admire her voice. (her lyrics tho, aint nothin special most of the time)

    2. my mom has promised her 5 daughters a party where she will invite all the eligible and suitable bachelors she knows for us to pick husbands out from! i plan on developing malaria the night before this party. i don’t wanna know! (gene i feel u concernin parents tryin to matchmake!)

  5. i think i know that mum of yours so well. AND TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE,SHE PUTS THE U IN FUN.why dont u ever write about me

  6. You Doris, your time. You don’t do anything interesting. I will write about you when you come home.

  7. white skirt in a casino…ur peeps were right… TOO HOLY.And as for that guy that was hitting on u while ur mother was there I have only two words to say…
    HOW RUDE:-O

  8. why am i not suprised that people can’t help hitting on someone even in the presence of the parent figures?

  9. 1. u live in the white flats, no?
    2. i wld like to find out wat position Aunt E was in dat wld lead to dat particular nail coming off?
    3. parents matchmaking in this day n age? well well!

  10. hey, I just got a free $500.00 Gift Card. you can redeem yours at Abercrombie & Fitch All you have to do to get yours is Click Here to get a $500 free gift card for your backtoschool wardrobe

  11. Fuckwit? Absofuckinglutely? If you go back to school, do linguistics. You will so enrich the English language.

    And Angela Kalule rocks blocks.

  12. rocks blocks? Baz, you really need to stop smoking that shit…

  13. I want to say something but i don’t know how to say what i want to say about this entry. i know i want so say something.

    coffee…coffee…coffee…

  14. Dee are you hiding underneath a rock?

  15. @savage: i had no idea who did “stacy’s mom” but i have a friend called stacy who hates the song for obvious reasons. thanx for the info.
    @inktus: we’re getting a matchmaking party you want to miss??!! girl, you high? go and have a ball and get pimped and then delete all the phone numbers the next day, that’s the plan.
    @doris: i support. why doesn’t dee write abt u?
    @dee: girl where are you? i’ve been checking your blog for updates and there are none!
    p.s. i went to k’la casino with my dad once long ago. i was wearing a BLACK long skir with a slit and a long sleeved shirt cuz i was from work too. needless to say there were still people asking my dad if i was his chick for the night. you will not believe how infuriating that is! it’s worse than being hit on infront of your mom. oh, i was disappointed at how small it is too.
    did i just get a record for longest comments? cool.

  16. let me ope that it is not that white skirt that i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    because am not your friend anymore

  17. easter bunny, do you mean to dispute the block rocking of Angel? Gasp?

  18. @Dee…c’mon, show up!

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