Dee In A Nutshell

Feed Me, Love Me, Never Leave Me.


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Can’t think of one.

So I know I have been a bit absent, you know, AWOL and all and unlike last time this is not because I was in Ssese or anywhere as exotic but because I have never been much of a writer and these past few days I have failed to summon the courage to actually sit at my pc and type out a post. This post is actually being typed on another pc as a word document and this is only working because I am so into novelty that I will do the dullest thing. So here I am again, here we go.
On Thursday, my Mom took me to the Kampala Casino. I had never been so I was a bit disappointed by how small it was. She picked me up from work and I was wearing a long white gypsy skirt and decent black top. She was an aunt of mine who is hilarious; we shall call her Aunt M. It was too early to go straight to the Casino so we went to the container next to the Bukoto Shell where we partook of some goat’s meat, spilled some guys drink and tried on shoes. If you will let me digress a little, it is very disturbing to hear your parents talk about sex. My Mom told a story about another Aunt of mine, let’s call her Aunt E. Aunt E was engaging in carnal knowledge with an unknown gentleman and she had just applied acrylic, better known as artificial, nails. In the course of their learning, one of her nails scratched him and fell off. What really amused my mother was it wasn’t even a very accessible finger that the nail fell off of but the ring finger, her question was what position could she have possibly found herself in that ended up in one of her nails, just one lone nail falling off. I had to pretend I had no idea what they were talking about so I didn’t have to imagine my Aunt E having any knowledge of a male human being carnal or not. Anyway, after this disturbing story, they started digging into me telling me I can’t wear my skirt to the Casino. Aunt M said I looked saved and the management would probably turn me away. Meanwhile, my Mom was wearing a pair of black pants and kept saying I can’t go dressed in a skirt, a long flowing skirt at that while she is wearing those pants. I was forced to go home and change into a pair of black jeans to appease them. I then told my Aunt M about Alfie and though she was happy for me she was also devastated because they had lined up someone for me, one of their friend’s sons. I found this unbelievable and asked them if they thought I lived in some kind of sheltered world where I will not encounter men on my own. My Aunt said it was a valid point but that that would not stop the boy’s mother from being devastated. We eventually got to the casino and I tell you men are shameless. There was a live band playing Jazz and the lead singer, who was filling in for K’Angie was hitting on me in front of my mother even when I introduced her as my mother. He felt nothing and just continued like she was pimping me out and didn’t give a pig’s fart one way or the other. Fuckwit. The night was good and I had undoubtedly the best fish fingers ever. If there is one reason you should make your way down to the casino if your luck is as rotten as mine is to have those fish fingers.
Last weekend was the Jewish New Year so we worked half day on Friday and not at all on Saturday. Now usually I give myself long weekends off but this weekend when I was actually legitimately off I did…NOTHING, absofuckinglutely nothing. I slept all day and watched TV all night, I enjoyed it so much I am seriously considering quitting my job so I can chill like that. Don’t say it, I know, chilling like that is best appreciated if you have actually been busy doing something so I might not quit my job just yet, but I am thinking about it.
My cousin for whom I was temping came back and my boss isn’t around right now. He comes back tomorrow and we discuss the terms of my staying on, coz they did ask me to stay on but it will all depend on how much they offer me. I am getting ready to go back to school and I don’t want a dead end job tying me up if it is only taking away from me.
I don’t know how long this post is going to appear on the blog but I am into my second page on Word. I am on a roll with these long posts almost like Inktus, almost.
I think I have said all I am going to say. Ciao.

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Can’t think of one.

So I know I have been a bit absent, you know, AWOL and all and unlike last time this is not because I was in Ssese or anywhere as exotic but because I have never been much of a writer and these past few days I have failed to summon the courage to actually sit at my pc and type out a post. This post is actually being typed on another pc as a word document and this is only working because I am so into novelty that I will do the dullest thing. So here I am again, here we go.
On Thursday, my Mom took me to the Kampala Casino. I had never been so I was a bit disappointed by how small it was. She picked me up from work and I was wearing a long white gypsy skirt and decent black top. She was an aunt of mine who is hilarious; we shall call her Aunt M. It was too early to go straight to the Casino so we went to the container next to the Bukoto Shell where we partook of some goat’s meat, spilled some guys drink and tried on shoes. If you will let me digress a little, it is very disturbing to hear your parents talk about sex. My Mom told a story about another Aunt of mine, let’s call her Aunt E. Aunt E was engaging in carnal knowledge with an unknown gentleman and she had just applied acrylic, better known as artificial, nails. In the course of their learning, one of her nails scratched him and fell off. What really amused my mother was it wasn’t even a very accessible finger that the nail fell off of but the ring finger, her question was what position could she have possibly found herself in that ended up in one of her nails, just one lone nail falling off. I had to pretend I had no idea what they were talking about so I didn’t have to imagine my Aunt E having any knowledge of a male human being carnal or not. Anyway, after this disturbing story, they started digging into me telling me I can’t wear my skirt to the Casino. Aunt M said I looked saved and the management would probably turn me away. Meanwhile, my Mom was wearing a pair of black pants and kept saying I can’t go dressed in a skirt, a long flowing skirt at that while she is wearing those pants. I was forced to go home and change into a pair of black jeans to appease them. I then told my Aunt M about Alfie and though she was happy for me she was also devastated because they had lined up someone for me, one of their friend’s sons. I found this unbelievable and asked them if they thought I lived in some kind of sheltered world where I will not encounter men on my own. My Aunt said it was a valid point but that that would not stop the boy’s mother from being devastated. We eventually got to the casino and I tell you men are shameless. There was a live band playing Jazz and the lead singer, who was filling in for K’Angie was hitting on me in front of my mother even when I introduced her as my mother. He felt nothing and just continued like she was pimping me out and didn’t give a pig’s fart one way or the other. Fuckwit. The night was good and I had undoubtedly the best fish fingers ever. If there is one reason you should make your way down to the casino if your luck is as rotten as mine is to have those fish fingers.
Last weekend was the Jewish New Year so we worked half day on Friday and not at all on Saturday. Now usually I give myself long weekends off but this weekend when I was actually legitimately off I did…NOTHING, absofuckinglutely nothing. I slept all day and watched TV all night, I enjoyed it so much I am seriously considering quitting my job so I can chill like that. Don’t say it, I know, chilling like that is best appreciated if you have actually been busy doing something so I might not quit my job just yet, but I am thinking about it.
My cousin for whom I was temping came back and my boss isn’t around right now. He comes back tomorrow and we discuss the terms of my staying on, coz they did ask me to stay on but it will all depend on how much they offer me. I am getting ready to go back to school and I don’t want a dead end job tying me up if it is only taking away from me.
I don’t know how long this post is going to appear on the blog but I am into my second page on Word. I am on a roll with these long posts almost like Inktus, almost.
I think I have said all I am going to say. Ciao.


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Can’t think of one.

So I know I have been a bit absent, you know, AWOL and all and unlike last time this is not because I was in Ssese or anywhere as exotic but because I have never been much of a writer and these past few days I have failed to summon the courage to actually sit at my pc and type out a post. This post is actually being typed on another pc as a word document and this is only working because I am so into novelty that I will do the dullest thing. So here I am again, here we go.
On Thursday, my Mom took me to the Kampala Casino. I had never been so I was a bit disappointed by how small it was. She picked me up from work and I was wearing a long white gypsy skirt and decent black top. She was an aunt of mine who is hilarious; we shall call her Aunt M. It was too early to go straight to the Casino so we went to the container next to the Bukoto Shell where we partook of some goat’s meat, spilled some guys drink and tried on shoes. If you will let me digress a little, it is very disturbing to hear your parents talk about sex. My Mom told a story about another Aunt of mine, let’s call her Aunt E. Aunt E was engaging in carnal knowledge with an unknown gentleman and she had just applied acrylic, better known as artificial, nails. In the course of their learning, one of her nails scratched him and fell off. What really amused my mother was it wasn’t even a very accessible finger that the nail fell off of but the ring finger, her question was what position could she have possibly found herself in that ended up in one of her nails, just one lone nail falling off. I had to pretend I had no idea what they were talking about so I didn’t have to imagine my Aunt E having any knowledge of a male human being carnal or not. Anyway, after this disturbing story, they started digging into me telling me I can’t wear my skirt to the Casino. Aunt M said I looked saved and the management would probably turn me away. Meanwhile, my Mom was wearing a pair of black pants and kept saying I can’t go dressed in a skirt, a long flowing skirt at that while she is wearing those pants. I was forced to go home and change into a pair of black jeans to appease them. I then told my Aunt M about Alfie and though she was happy for me she was also devastated because they had lined up someone for me, one of their friend’s sons. I found this unbelievable and asked them if they thought I lived in some kind of sheltered world where I will not encounter men on my own. My Aunt said it was a valid point but that that would not stop the boy’s mother from being devastated. We eventually got to the casino and I tell you men are shameless. There was a live band playing Jazz and the lead singer, who was filling in for K’Angie was hitting on me in front of my mother even when I introduced her as my mother. He felt nothing and just continued like she was pimping me out and didn’t give a pig’s fart one way or the other. Fuckwit. The night was good and I had undoubtedly the best fish fingers ever. If there is one reason you should make your way down to the casino if your luck is as rotten as mine is to have those fish fingers.
Last weekend was the Jewish New Year so we worked half day on Friday and not at all on Saturday. Now usually I give myself long weekends off but this weekend when I was actually legitimately off I did…NOTHING, absofuckinglutely nothing. I slept all day and watched TV all night, I enjoyed it so much I am seriously considering quitting my job so I can chill like that. Don’t say it, I know, chilling like that is best appreciated if you have actually been busy doing something so I might not quit my job just yet, but I am thinking about it.
My cousin for whom I was temping came back and my boss isn’t around right now. He comes back tomorrow and we discuss the terms of my staying on, coz they did ask me to stay on but it will all depend on how much they offer me. I am getting ready to go back to school and I don’t want a dead end job tying me up if it is only taking away from me.
I don’t know how long this post is going to appear on the blog but I am into my second page on Word. I am on a roll with these long posts almost like Inktus, almost.
I think I have said all I am going to say. Ciao.


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Awesome Weekend!!!

First off let me say I am busted. The sleuths figured me out and I won’t deny it. I hadn’t yet confirmed anything because I have been out of town having an awesome weekend.
I left Kampala on Friday with Alfred, his friend Steve and Steve’s girlfriend Annabelle. We spent the night in Masaka then went to Ssese Islands on Saturday for two nights and came back to Kampala yesterday. So now I am back in the office telling all of you about it. I will get into the details in a minute. Before that, though, I must say, a weekend away is something I really needed. It was awesome doing nothing, just chillin’ on the beach, waking up whenever to a sumptous breakfast and sitting around the bonfire at night. I tell you it was amazing. Surreal, like I was dreaming. I woke up every morning expecting to be back in my bed in Kampala and having to go to work but I wasn’t. Instead I was in this paradise where everything was perfect. I fail to find the words to convey the sheer beauty of it all, white, WHITE, sand people!!!
Details now.
I wake up on Friday and get ready, pack and everything but I have to go all the way to Kyaliwajala first to see my sister in her school, Vienna College, to drop off a dress and shoes she was going to wear to an alumni dinner taking place later that night that I was missing because I was going away for the weekend. She made me pay her off to let me off the hook for missing it. After that I was supposed to go to campus to find out about the Masters programme I am planning to do but I was late as it was so I just went straight to Makindye to find Steve and Annabelle at their place so we could leave. Meanwhile Alfred was in Entebbe on Friday morning so he had to come back and find us in Makindye so we could leave. I will let him tell his side of the story. Since I already told you we spent the night in Masaka, I don’t need to tell you we were late. The ferry from Bukakata leaves at 2.00pm and by that time we were still here. Alfie came by at around 3.00pm and we set off for Masaka. I love long journeys and this was fun especially since I was seated in the back seat with Alfred being driven around. It’s much funner if all you’re doing is sitting back. I took the book I was reading at the time, Salman Rushdie’s “Shalimar the Clown”, which I didn’t read at all. Ok, I read about 50 pages but that is so few for me especially over 3 days. We get to Masaka and check into the hotel. On our way there I called up an ex-boyfriend of mine, ex-ex-ex, very ex, whose family own a hotel in Masaka to get a quotation and get him to book for us. That was a bit wierd. “Hi, please book a room for my boyfriend and I for one night?” “Which boyfriend?” “Your time, just book the room.” is kinda how the conversation went. So, anyway, we check in “look” at our room and go down for a drink then start scouting Masaka for a place where we could have a decent meal, find a hotel where we have supper and go to a bar. Now, I have never really been one for Public Displays of Affection but I don’t know what has come over me. I always used to make out like I was but I would always get a tad uncomfortable if I had to actually display affection publicly. With Alfie however, I’m like that’s their shit (the people watching.) So there we are in a pub in Masaka publicly displaying affection and the stares we were getting wer for world cup. Anyway, we eventually got back to our rooms planning to be up as early as 9.00am the next day so we can drive down to Bukakata and get on the ferry which leaves at 2.00 but stops boarding at about 1.30pm on account on the number of people who want to get on. We overslept. We got up at 9.00am instead of already being in the car on our way. I had had the foresight to order breakfast brought to our rooms earlier so atleast we had eaten. We finally got on our way. The road to Bukakata is long and dusty with a canopy of trees providing a shade that looks like something out of the movie ‘Wrong Turn.’ We get to Bukakata and, since Steve had brought fishing poles, did a spot of fishing. I had never done any kind of fishing before but I learnt how to line the rod and put on the hook and the bait and how to cast without gouging anyone’s eyes out. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch any fish. After about an hour and a half, we saw the ferry coming back and packed up our gear and got on. It’s like 45 minutes to the place where we disembark. We get off and settle in for a long ride to Kalangala and on to Ssese. Same canopy effect on the roads there, same dust, it’s we had never got on the ferry in the first place. We finally get to Kalangala, fill up on ciggies and go and look for where to live. The first place we go to has the most amazing chips and chicken ever, my judgement might have been clouded by my hunger. The living conditions are not so so and it’s kinda dull. We go on to the next place that has alot more people and decide to stay there, however, the only available room is a family unit, that is two rooms in the same enclosure like an ensuite but with the thinnest walls. I don’t have to tell you that this was not a very good idea, not only because the bathroom was in our room and the entrance in theirs but also because I am a closet nudist and I don’t want people walking in on me in my Eve’s suit, you know? After shifting out stuff into the room we settled in for a long night of drinking and other recreational pursuits. We left that bonfire at 4.00am and we left a bit of a rep. behind. There was a fight that I regratably missed coz I was off taking moonlit walks on white sand beaches. I saw a white guy who looked just Chris Martin and another just like Peter Jackson, thin, and yet another who looked just like a hobbit. We then repaired back to our room where we “slept” then slept… or tried to. Got up the next morning determined to have separate rooms and we did infact get rooms on the opposite ends of each other.
If you are still reading this post then you have the stamina of a Greek man coz I am so tired of typing. This is definately going to go down as my longest post ever.
So we spend the next day doing much of the same… nothing. It feels so good to do absolutely nothing. Steve, meanwhile has a massive hangover and can’t drink anymore and since he has to drive the next day early because the ferry leaves at 8.00am and stops boarding at around 7.30am so we have to be up by 7.00am. This is a stretch because 9.00am was hard enough. Anyway, they go off to bed early and Alfie and I stay at the beach and watch a white chic talk up one of the guys who works there. Did I mention how CUTE Alfie is?
We stay at the bonfire until it has turned into embers and we are the only ones left. I know some of you are probably thinking ‘Sex on the Beach’ and so were we but it was not to be. There were strange noises emanating from the water yet there were no visible signs of life around. No boats, no people, nothing. So we gave up on the idea altogether… the ‘on the beach’ part atleast. We went to bed and got up early enough to make the ferry. This ferry docks about 5 feet from the place where we were staying so imagine how dumb we felt when we saw it docking after taking the long way round. The difference is you pay for this one.
I am trying to summarise so I can finish b’se I am exhausted.
We got to Entebbe, stopped at Four Turkeys for a drink and drove to Kampala and that was the end to my awesome weekend. The only sucky thing about it is that it had to end. The shock of being thrown back into the deep end of life after so relaxing a break is akin to the shock your body feels if it is taken out of warm water and thrust into freezing water. (Forgive the water allusions, I swam after such a long time over the weekend.)
So that is all. I’m thankful to any of you who have made it this far. Ciao.